Grace

Dear Millie,

Sometimes life is messy and complicated.  It’s hard and painful.  Recently, I was helping a lady who was about to have a baby.  I was there as she was in labor, and I was there soon after she delivered a tiny, wide-eyed baby girl.  I was there when she cried over having had to do it alone…she’d left an abusive relationship with her older teenage daughter and son.  She mourned the relationship she thought she’d had, and the future she faced as a single mom.  Again.  She was frustrated to find herself here, having failed a third relationship that included yet another child.

I didn’t know what to say.  What could I say?

She agonized over whether she should place her baby for adoption.  Fears of the father re-entering their lives were a major concern.  He’d had another of his baby mamas declared an unfit mother and her children were taken from her.  Would keeping her new, sweet baby jeopardize her older children?  The father had moved on and was already with (possibly married to?) another woman.  Was keeping the baby a gamble worth risking?

At the same time, she is her baby.  Her precious daughter.  How could she possibly give her up?

She was tormented by the decision she was forced to make.  How would she possibly care for her children, let alone her newborn daughter?  Yet how could she possibly let her go?  Her son was terrified the abusive man would return if they kept the baby.  Her daughter didn’t look up from Facebook as her mom begged validation, “You want me to keep her, don’t you?”

“Sure.”

It was gut-wrenching to watch from the sidelines.  The father was notified of his daughter’s birth by Social Services and responded that he was not interested in pursuing custody. The mother choked back a sob as she told me, “He doesn’t even want to meet her.”

She brought her home.  Donations were made and the little dark-haired darling has a bed and clothes and diapers and food.  We talked about plans for the future and making things work.  We talked about love, repentance, and forgiveness.  We laughed and cried and hugged and prayed.  The overwhelming feeling was hopeful for the future–that somehow, things would be made right.  This baby is here for a reason.

 

 

She named her baby Grace.

 

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