How to Anniversary

Dear Grace,

Yesterday was our first anniversary of being married, and I cannot believe Abe and I have only been together for one year; certainly it has been 13 at least. Upon reflection of our anniversary, I cannot decide if there is something wrong with Abe and me as a couple or if we’re just so comfortable together that we don’t have to try to do fancy things. Or maybe it’s just laziness? I’ll let you decide.

Anniversary Timeline:

  • 9:00 A.M.: Millie wakes up and reads for about an hour.
  • 10:00 A.M.: Abe is still asleep.
  • 11:00 A.M.: Abe wakes up and Millie makes French toast for breakfast.
  • 12:00 A.M.: Millie begins wrapping Abe’s anniversary gifts and Abe goes to town in search of gifts for Millie.
  • 1:00 P.M.: Millie decides to get out of pajamas in order to look nice for her husband when he returns.
  • 2:00 P.M.: Millie and Abe open their presents from each other, and despite the fact that Millie was better prepared, Abe’s presents for her are much better.
  • 3:00 P.M.: Abe decides he needs a nap.
  • 4:00 P.M.: Abe is still napping and Millie is taking advantage of his absence to watch chick flicks.
  • 5:00 P.M.: Abe is still napping and Millie has started her second chick flick.
  • 6:00 P.M.: Abe finally wakes up and the couple decides maybe they should go get some dinner or something to celebrate.
  • 7:00 P.M.: Quiet dinner at their favorite local Italian restaurant.
  • 8:00 P.M.: Shopping for Millie’s Christmas stocking at 5 different stores because she is picky.
  • 9:00 P.M.: Back home to fall asleep while watching¬†The Santa Claus.¬†

It was perhaps the most uneventful anniversary ever celebrated by a human couple. Maybe a trip to Hawaii would do us some good even if Mumsie and Pops won’t come.

Love Always,


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